fever '04...

haiz.. sis evelyn wants me to go for fever '04 and there's no way i can back out... she wouldn't let me.. haiz... i am not prepared.. so short notice.. dunnoe why i so kpo show interest. hah.. actually i am interested but i am not willing yet. i got other commitments... rugby, entreprenuer... ar!!!! wad to do.. i'll be gone for at least a week on mission.... guess i'll be posted to east timor... or maybe indonesia... i am not prepared!! how?? i feel soooo.. worried now... trying to lift this up to God.. but i cant get it off my mind.... maybe its God's will.. maybe.... i've been soo away from God till i kinda feel like i'm a hypocrite. i've been praying over it for a long time...

anyway, today was an ok sunday.. spent most of my time doing video.. argH!! now having headache... today, din do much after church, i juz went down to dec's house and watch him play rune scape. den me and jon played little fighter haha... den had some muah chee his mom made. quite nice ar... i think i also want to try make myself..

after some time, went back to church, duty again.. dn today matt buy 7 packet of fries bring up video room. eat until dun need eat dinner liao arz.. haha... den sermon today damn long.. went back down try to back sis evelyn to let me off.. but i think i cant get off the hook this time.. guess i've gtg... 1k plus leh... i heart pain ar.. air flight and all.... haiz..

anyway, this holidays will not be holidays liao ar.. so many things i've got to do... rugby tournaments, rugby camp, entreprenuer comp and trainings, church camp, missions trip, still got sch... man.... holidays will juz be a bunch of cca days... haiz... gonna have lots of rugby training too... preparing for A div and our M1 10s and sentosa touch.. but if i go fever '04, i cant go tournament... unless i rush back on saturday from indo, sunday go comp... i want to play ar!!!!!!!!! quite cramp ar... church camp and fever '04... haiz... wad to do!?

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haiz.. ec, ec, ec... girls sometimes juz dun understand guys... she dunnoe how much i used to love her... of course that'd be this lil part that still cares for her. but she juz blow things up.. haiz.. dun wish for that to happen.. the exp.626 thingy, kinda came out before the lilo thingy.. she din really like that thing.. kinda fits me and lilo in place, so i took it off... i can always change my email. but i din. isn't that more important? hah... but anyway, i think there'll nvr be a me and ec anymore. forever. i might not change my email now, since i feel that there's no need. guess i'll leave it as it is, but it has no meaning anymore. if u love someone, u wont hurt that person. i guess we dun love each other cos we hurt each other. she says she used hu to make me more jealous. hah! u want me to belive. even if u did. u pushed it too far. i was soo damn hurt and filled with fury that i trashed stuff in my room, smahed and bang things out of place... until my parents came in.. i was in my dad's arms.. he was calming me... my parents love me so much... at that point, i realised there wasnt any need for ec, anymore... i hated and i treasued that part of life. the feeling of being dumped.... cos i din have the time for her. gave her all the time to find another. even u want to patch now, its juz too late. i cant accept those things anymore... i really cant...