12/12/2010

i've never felt so hopeless in my entire life.

barely holding on.

someday save me.

17/10/10

i finally came up with the perfect phrase.

it feels like vfc youths are becoming like city harvest.

individual growth vs church growth. focus on one and you compromise the other.

good or bad, u decide.

06/10/10

Hi there old friend. i thought i wouldn't need you anymore. but i really need to rant. i cant tell my best friend cos she wont understand how i feel. i cant tell my sch mates cos they think i'm bragging. i cant tell anyone cos they just think i'm retarded.

2 types of people. either they say wow you've done well, (which i dont find it entirely true. and it dont help make me feel better complimenting me) or they focus only on the B and the other distinctions are negligible.

i want to change my mentality towards it. i thought i have gotten over it. but i just keep getting reminded of it everyday, everywhere i go by everyone.

i told myself, it's not going to be the B that ruined me, but the B that changed me

yet it seems easier said then done.

04/10/10

They will never go "Wah! 5 distinctions! well done!"
It's always "Why did you get a B? is it just you or everybody else?"

why bother what other people get. it's comparison that causes us to be in a situation of "you're ok, i'm not ok."
-

disappointments aside. well, i dont live or do well for anyone.

these hols have been really meaningful especially with the scholars induction camp. it felt as if i was at some christian seminar. felt God speaking to me in so many ways. found out on the last day, most of the staff were christians. wow.

i guess God had a purpose for "forcing" me to go for it. ha...

greater purity, greater influence.

06/10/09

today's prolly one of the most memorable day for me. i think because not only the same 4 guys were there but jer, kim, char were there too. and spending time with each one of them meant so much to me.

each one have their own lives, their own things to do, and yet on a day like tt i just felt a little sense of family and unity. i'll be keeping all of em in prayer especially the army boys. praying that army would not draw them further from us/God.

it's gonna be quite a big change with them busy for the next 2/3 months. i really pray that these good times will be back again someday.

i feel like getting my well deserved rest. =D i'm so happy yet i feel a little melancholic haha... mixed feelings. gonna miss my buddies. but i loved today. absolutely, gaurantee + chop, looooooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeee my day. i pray for more of such outings. =DDD

05/10/09

it's been long since i last blog about my day haha. however i feel like keeping in mind today, cos it meant so much to me.

it's monday and i have to go to work, but instead of going straight to sch, i have to go down to tanjong pagar to settle some business admin stuff. so i got my dad to send me down, and on our way, we passed by the tanjong pagar train station. AND I LOVE THE CHAPPATI THERE!

so i asked my dad what time he starts work and if he wanted to go for breakfast despite knowing that he's prolly already late. he replied saying that work is suppose to start like soon. so i said it's ok and we're quiet for a while.

"Actually, i'm a hungry too, let's go for breakfast." my dad suddenly replied. of course i told him it's ok la ha but in the end he insisted and so we went for breakfast! and i found out in all his 50yrs on earth, he has never stepped in to that train station.

it was really cool man, we had chappatti and teh aliah. breakfast was just so nice, then we took a walk around the station and carried on on our journey.

and the rest is just i reached acra, settled my stuff and headed to sch. but morning never felt so wonderful in a long time. i always wished that when i have a family, i'd love to bring them out as a family for breakfast. well, today's father and son breakfast will always be remembered.

and just a song that i'm listening to on repeat because as i listen, i become more amazed and in awe of the God we serve.

25/09/09

tough times are over, everything seem to be climbing, but i know tougher times are coming!

God, see me through.