30/09/07

i feel so blessed this week!

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i thank god for andre and mark, of course darren too! =D but on thursday night, we really met god. i mean, andre mark and i, we prayed together and it felt so wonderful. you guys make me look forward to camp! i'm excited and full of hope of what God's gonna do in the next few weeks!

i dun have much time. need to go already hahaha...

i'm glad just seeing you around.

23/09/07

it's gonna be another long week, and sure i've enjoyed this weekend lots. i'm gonna miss the usual few as i've always had.

'smile'... =D it means so much to me these few weeks. be it mine, urs or any others, it's contagious.

i just pray, that next week would past fast, cos for the past 2 weeks, time really fly so slowly..

my prayer for this week would be that lord, help me pursue purity. let it be my desire. i surrender my life, my thoughts my feelings and all i am to u. u take the lead. =)

you have the power

to make me smile.

be safe.

22/09/07

i thank god for wonderful bunk mates. they are so encouraging and supportive. especially, when i did something stupid like suggesting stand by bed in 10mins hahaha.. i mean, is it so hard to pack ur locker and ur bunk should be clean! =P

brought darrenkane to komalas today, and thanks ar, bring ur gf along. haha... thank goodness she's a chatty one, or i'd be real quiet. well,(if u're reading this) i've to say, u've got one wonderful girlfriend, hahaha... chatty, lively and cheerful. =)

at least now i have a friend to explore the wonders in singapore hahaha.. we share rather same interest in food and exploration. and thanks to darren, i've got a new found interest in cooking ha! i can roughly cook carbonara now, though it's not tt perfect heh.

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haha... today's message was soo funny and so true. also, jeremy and i are so alike la! haha.. my bunk mates can testify to that lol. not tt i talk alot about girls la, but i do a lot of dreaming HAHAHA!! like a perfect moment, like as if things would happen like that in a movie. hahaha.. hopeless romantic dreamer HAHAHA or like what they'd call me, snag - sensitive new age guy. whether it's good or bad i dunnoe hahaha.. but i dream of very classic kind of settings hahaha...

well, i have fun in camp, especially with my bunk mates! =D

16/09/07

guard duty yesterday, 7am till 8am today.

the day past both fast and slow. ha... time flew fast, but the 24hrs made it slow. was rather fun. we had tv, aircon and all, and on guard, time flew fast. as a sentry, i stood at my post and stare, stare into blank space and began doing loads of reflecting. was rather interesting how i start to see works being done in my life.

just on friday, i wrote on how i want to change my life, how i look towards the hope in me. last night, 2 person, not knowing what each other said, told me things about me that were edifying, things i did not know were sooo important and useful for myself.

well, one said i had a talent cos i can "file" people up in my memory and when i need to, i can open these "files" and flip through the pages and recall things about them i need. he said i should go into business.

the other, as we were talking said i should go into marketing, cos i can make people around me trust me in a very short time. "it's a rare talent". wow... it sure made me feel good about myself and help me understand myself more.

i smile more these days, all thanks to God. his presence's so real even in camp. every night, i look forward to spending time with him, thanking him for the day and all he's done.

i thank him for all the people i love, for the favours poured upon me. i'm starting to not look down on myself. there's something i just want to prove i just dunnoe how and when, but i want to make something out of my life.

even though i failed A'levels, it doesn't make me smaller or lousier in any way compared to anyone. let what my mom say be what she say, let how people look at me, be what they see as my potential.

i believe in my dreams, no matter how idealistic they are.

14/09/07

god has been great through this time.

i've decided to let go of many feelings, sadness, loneliness, some others, and hand it to god every night before i sleep. i love the nights just before lights out, i'd chat, laugh then a sudden silence would settle and then, i'd start to turn to the bible, and to god, and i'd feel this great peace in my heart.

i thank god lots, for pulling me through, running, walking enduring with me.

i see his hands on me, the friends, the sergeants, everything!

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today i cooked carbonara, i've gained a new interest in cooking after learning that some of my favourite food can be cooked at home without the need of purchasing them! i learned to cook carbonara from a bunk mate, and now, i'm sooo interested in cooking, i'm gonna learn one new recipe every week! =DD

i just want to change my life, from games, to cooking, doing up paper collage, reading and gaining general knowledge, reading god's word and growing up. haha... went through all my cards, and i see lots of "please grow up gab haha!" hahaha...

i want to start painting a picture of my life, a new one. i look forward to each day, to see my life changed, it feels like my life's suddenly filled with lots of hope. i praise god! he makes me smile, he gives me friends who makes me smile too.

i pray this carries on, and at the end, i'd be a new person. even lay kuen was teasing me, as we went shopping for groceries. hahaha.. i've become.... homely? is there such a word? haha i dunnoe. but tt's what she describes me. haha... i thank god for my friends, pple like her, since yr 2, lay kuen, kailing, kannan, u all have been a blessing in my life.

ok, time for bed, i've got guard duty tmr... there goes sat. ha...

12/09/07

last night i had a wild dream hahahaha... as usual, being chased. an adrenaline pumping dream haha...

i was suppose to be brought in by some bad guys, (not sure who they are) but apparently, the guy escorting me is some blur fat guy so i ran away and he noticed after like 10 seconds haha.. so i kept running and hiding until i woke up.

then the dream continued.

2 of my friends were taken into custody (1 guy and a girl) cos i ran away. so now, should i go back and save them or what? i kept calling one of them but no answer. suddenly i was back in camp, and apparently in the dream, the baddies were recruiting people from the MP camp, cos of our high clearance level. so i was thinking if i should join and save my friends but i chose not to.

i woke up, full of regret... i should have played my dream like a game and see what would've happened if i saved them.. and it so happen, those 2 of my friends caught, were rather important ones to me.

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haha.. book out for medical review. =P

i really thank God for the past few days. i was feeling rather sad, however, i thank God for the friends i've made, my bunk mates and all. they are cool pple. in fact, one of them got me sooooo interested in cooking, am gonna cook SPAGHETTI CARBONARA THIS WEEK! =P

BUT! i've got guard duty this sat... ARGH! no matter! I AM still gonna cook it! and if it's good, i'd invite some of u over for lunch one day hohoho!!

days pass by rather slowly... it's only wednesday... ha... well.. i look forward to dinner cos after tt there's nothing much to do. and then, time for dreams!! whee!!

i thank God, for his joy, and peace in my heart... so many things, so many thoughts, but i lift them up to the lord, and his peace just filled my heart. thank you!

spending lots of time on the word these past few nights, and i enjoyed every moment of it. praise him!

thinking of u lots.

09/09/07

today's sermon's really good. it's like i totally agree. though for me, i'm not dealing with foreigners but those whom others condemn. they may think i'm crazy, (right ernest? haha) but they become some of ur most trusted friends.

they become people who will stand by ur side, who respects u and pull u through tough times. well.. i guess i was once that alien so i know. =P

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it's like suddenly my dreams, my visions were all dampened. like reality sinking into my idealistic picturesque future.

life in future just would never seem to be nice and beautiful and carefree as i think it'll be. so what if NS is tough, as if work is gonna be any easier. or studying, all the research, all the new people u'd meet at the start of every module.

who'd pull me through? well... my parents can't live till the day i die. i can't help it, but i've been running for so long, i still want to run.

well, the bible says not to worry, i kept asking god for peace but i just can't help feel this way.

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Everyday
high school musical 2

Once in a lifetime
means there’s no second chance.
so I believe than you and me
should grab it while we can.
Make it last forever
and never give it back.
It’s our turn, and I’m loving’ where we’re at.
Because this moment’s really all we have.

Everyday
of our lives,
wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight.
Gonna run,
While we’re young,
and keep the faith.
Everyday,
From right now,
gonna use our voices and scream out loud.

Take my hand;
together we will celebrate.
celebrate.
Oh, everyday.
They say that you should follow,
and chase down what you dream.
but if you get lost and lose yourself,
what does is really mean?

oh.
No matter where we’re going,
ooh yeah.
it starts from where we are.
There’s more to life
when we listen to our hearts.
and because of you, I’ve got the strength to start.
yeah, yeah, yeah!

Everyday
of our lives,
wanna find you there,
wanna hold on tight.
Gonna run,
while we’re young,
and keep the faith.

oh.
Everyday.
from right now,
gonna use our voices and scream out loud.
Take my hand;
together we
will celebrate,

Oh, everyday

We’re taking it back,
we’re doing it here,
together.

It’s better like that,
and stronger now,
than ever.

We’re not gonna lose.
cause we get to choose.
that’s how it’s gonna be!
Everyday
of our lives,
wanna find you there,
wanna hold on tight.

Gonna run,
while we’re young,
And keep the faith.
Keep the faith!

Everyday,
of our lives,
wanna find you there,
wanna hold on tight.

Gonna run,
[gonna run]
while we’re young,
and keep the faith.

oh yeah, yeah.

Everyday,
[everyday]
from right now,
[right now]
gonna use our voices
and scream out loud.
Take my hand;
[take my hand]
together we
will celebrate,

Everyday!

a contradicting entry hohoho!!!

time's flying by real nice and slow for these 3 days. enjoyed myself everyday.

however, there's this sudden feeling of "it's been so long since i last..." see you? talk to you? see you laugh? see you smile? hear your voice.



how slowly time flies... (HA!)



i want to be outside. i feel like a boy eager to travel and see the world yet unconfident of doing it alone.

i don't know who i can call. haha.. actually i know of some but they're in camp. ernest would eagerly go fishing, tai yong to explore pungol, kam wai's MIA. aww... haha... having a part time girl friend now wouldn't be too bad a thing if she'd just follow me around hohoho!


ah well.. i can't wait till ns's over ha! long way. but i'd most prob be going to indonesia. have been thinking about it. wanna see what my ex-maid's doing there, stay a month or so there. it'll be fun.

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i miss baby ray. he makes me smile.

05/07/09

time sure flies...

4 yrs since my grandpa passed away, which is about the same time esther and i got together.

and about a yr and half later, we broke up. now i'm in the army, and all these felt just not too long ago. ever since i entered the army, i kept thinking about time. how short time is and how i can make full use of it.

i've been definitely putting in lots of effort to make sure i make full use of my days. however, days still pass by rather fast. time's short...

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stayed over at jadon's yesterday, went swiiming in the morning. haha.. we made our own musical fountain video. hilarious.

oh well... thinking of what i should do tmr. i should've just left myself behind at bugis junction... i want to be around pple...

life's rather lonely when there's no school.

04/09/07

ah... what a wonderful day. at least i made full use of today.

today was rather fun, went fishing with ernest. spent almost the whole afternoon at bedok jetty. the day went by real slow, (which is good) but it's the end of my first day of leave... somehow, i am not looking forward to booking in on friday even though it is just for 1 day...

unit life IS good haha... but i still feel the pressure of staying inside.. maybe i've not yet made friends.. hopefully things get better.

have to start planning for tmr and thursday already. am going to jadon's place later stay over and play haha.. but i'm a lil too tired actually.. feel like sleeping...

oh well.. lord... just be with me.

how i long for your love.

04/09/07

tyong.blogspot.com

if yer wanna know how things are, u can read his blog too. haha.. it further elaborates. i feel the same way sometimes too. reading his blog makes me feel that i'm not alone. we've pushed each other through, now we've gone our separate ways. do continue to shine like u did in bslc. God's gonna use you to encourage others with his word. =)

neways, now, in mp, i can throw away everything i've learn't about being an infantry. (which is kind of a bummer...) and now, in the next 11 weeks, i'll be training for real operations. it'll be exciting but scary too.

being in a unit is really good. life's good. but looking at my living conditions and all... things kinda feel depressing once again... bein in a training school suddenly feels better. i've enjoyed my days in pasir lebar. sispec was fun.

pple in unit grow fat hahahaha!! random.

3 days of leave. there's something i really wanna do. see if i'd got the guts ha!

night.

02/09/07

OOPS!

haha.. i forgot that i made this blog public. had to do some editing and cutting from things that should not be made known HAHAHA! it's a talk only between a few of us. anyway, after seeing my results, i'm also not so confident. haha... got a B- not too bad la... could've gotten a nicer grade, 3% more...

ok, so i'm frustrated that my gortex flew away. ARGH! it's expensive man... and it's part of my field equipment.. i thought i told my mom.. yet she hanged it outside without even zipping it up... ARGH!!! i feel like smashing my head against the wall.

tmr... hope the next 2-3months would be a good and enjoyable one.

need to get some sleep. i'm still not done packing. no mood to and i refuse to. irritated.

ah well... good night.

it's been a nice weekend. =)

01/09/07

well... it's back to camp on monday. i'm glad, it's monday morning hohoho.

ok, i've decided to bring back my blog. =)

i've got to understand myself more over the past few weeks. (since my blog went away) haha.. i'd nvr delete my blog. u know, i'm a sentimental person. (maybe that's why i can never get my room cleared.) well.. i've realised how my blog actually DO affect me in some way. ha.. but now tt i know, i'll start working on changing for the better. =)

things are good so far. posted to MP (military police). things are gonna get much more interesting =D

just want to see ya'all smile

at least once. =)