21/11/05

my mind's juz in the mood of living life in eternity... where i cease to exist but i do somewhere. soooo lost... soooo peaceful...

just how peaceful it is... my grand father has passed... he lives peacefully in the crematorium... as i walked by looking at the other (dead) christians at the crematorium, they looked real peaceful... with toys pasted by the sides, letters written by their loved ones, i dunnoe... but tears are juz coming out of my eyes...

to many things in my mind...

i feel sooo peaceful now... as if my life's complete... i yearn forgiveness, i long to be loved. thank you God...

i love the skies, the stars, the sea, the sand.... i love God's creation... i have taken life too lightly, going for the wrong things. reaching unseen goals. how lacking of foresight can i be...

many things running through my head... it's as if u're just gonna pass on, and things just run through real quickly, good things, bad things, sad things, nice things happy things sweet things... too fast for u to catch. u say "wait a moment! let me enjoy that thought!" but it just fly by soooo quickly. life's just flying...

too many things i've done wrong, too many things i want to change, too many things i want to do, want to accomplish...

ha... i just i realised that i din really understand what i just typed.. i'm too lost back in time, the time of knights and dragons, prince and princesses, kings and queens, poems and songs of love...

forgive the blabberings.. i'm just falling asleep in this _______ undescribable feeling.

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i think enya has wonderful songs... i remember being in the car and not letting my dad off the engine as i was listening to her songs on the radio... until the DJ comes on then would i step out of the car... i was only.... 3 or 4 yrs old?? a little boy...

i'd fall asleep listening to her sing. it was like the hottest thing on the radios at that time. enya's songs are just sooo mystical, sooo peaceful... sooo nice...

ah... probably i'm writting nonsense cos i'm tired...

tmr's my rugby tournament. am not that excited la. (probably just not excited now.) but i definitely want to play a good game man. been sooo long. hmmmm... if like what a chuan said, "play it like touch rugby," i think it shouldn't be too difficult. some more it's contact, boost my confidence of breaking through.

imagine people just barely touching u in touch rugby, what makes u so sure they'll take u down in contact?

so like, i need to study... i'm afraid i'd fall asleep before lost begins... so ya. muz hit my 2 hours!!!