my heartaches...

just looking at my dad, sick, in bed...
and my heartaches.
then a chain of thoughts begin...

however i'm thinking deep thoughts.
like, i wonder why we cant live on earth foerever?
or like, why would we live in heaven forever.

many things along the same line.

and as well as wondering why the world's so advanced, why cant we live by the sea in serenity.

haha.... and because of all this and looking at my dad, my heart aches...

he must have overworked himself... for this family.
but that's not what i want. i do not need money! =)
i need a dad by my side.

money isn't important to me.
i do not care if i have money or not.
though i've always said i wanted to marry a rich wife,
i do not care if i ever marry a rich one or not! =)
i do not mind living as a farmer,
maybe a fisherman,
all i want, is to be with the people i love.

if i ever get married,
all i want is to just spend as much time as i can with my wife, my family.
life on earth is so short.
and my heart aches to know that finally one day,
when we're all in heaven,
i may never see them again,
would i even remember them?
would they remember me?
would our love on earth last?

we're given new bodies remember?
we may not look the same when we're in heaven...

heaven's supposedly the place that i and everyone else are looking forward to go to.
yet heaven sounds like such a sad place.
it just beats going to hell.
that's all...

though there we're one big family,
but i lose the family that i was born into.
i'll have a WHOLE MANSION to myself yet it's so big and empty i'd be so lonely.

and with that mansion,
there wouldn't be any homeless i can invite in,
no orphans i could shower my love on,
no poor i can share with (they'd prolly just mine the streets and they'd be richer than they are on earth...)

is heaven that wonderful after all?
and is life on earth that meaningless because we're looking forward to our home in heaven.

listen to my song, it cries out.