23/04/09

the curse of my family - is my parents not having confidence in me.

the lack of confidence in me causes me to doubt my own abilities. even if i tell myself i can do it, yet if i fail, there my mom will go again "see i told you." what is there to see, when failure is not expected of me.

will i know and experience failure? will i be able to climb up when i stumble? don't everyone take the chance and make or break? how will i ever know, when i do not even take the first step or do i wait until the first step is completely safe to walk on.

will the first step wait for me forever? will an opportunity stay and tell me it will wait for me, till the day i perish? will my youth be with me forever to take on the stepping stones of a youth?

do even anyone have confidence in me?