15/07/07

1 and a half more months...

well, u're not the only ones. yesterday millie called and she said i sounded mature. hohoho!! maybe cause i did not tease her. i'm always laughing for no reason to make her nervous. hahahaha! but i did not.

this afternoon, went down to meet kl, lk and bro, they too said i've "lost my joy". like as if i'm extremely depressed, and tt i need a psycologist.

so... which is better? i tot u asked me to grow up in the card!? hahahaha...

well... i just can't laugh/smile like i used to. rather i dunnoe how. it'll look wierd if i tried. and pple look most beautiful when they smile naturally. i dun want to fake it. not tt i'm sad or stressed la ya... i'm just being myself at this point in life.

how i wish we were 100 yrs old at birth and grow younger till we disappear. at least, toward the end, we'd be more joyful and slowly, we begin to forget our hurts, forget what living is like, until... we disappear into thin air. at least dying dun seem so sad at the last days. hahaha... crazy thought.

moodless... all i look forward in life now is the next book out, which don't last long. anyways, there's nothing for me to look forward to next book out anymore. maybe whatever's going on is true. i'm not sad or what. i'm happy to see how he covered it up so tactfully.

to protect the one you love.