i cant juz give up!?

warning! long, boring depressing entry =P

man... it's a battle going on each and everyday between my spirit and body. many times, i juz wanna give and follow the crowd but still, i have a future to fight for.

i HATE studying these days, i dunnoe why... i used to find studying fun. but now, even though i sit down and do my work, i only do so little. maybe it's because i dunnoe how to do? I DUNNOE!!! it could be ether im distracted or i juz dunnoe how to do and because i dun have reference, i dump it aside. how!?!?!?

i have done my best since monday.. yea.. i gamed lesser day after day but still... i am not focusing on my work with this extra time i have obtained.

God... i need you... take me away... but again, i want to stay... there's so many things i want to do. i dun dread studying.. i dunnoe how to explain. it's tt reality tt we must pass our exams or we're doomed. i love school. i love staying in class but if only we are allowed to fail and not be doomed to become a failure. cos i want to study yet take my time to learn. i want to embrace failure but in society, i cant.

i really dunnoe how. i am pushing myself the best i can. it's juz like as if it was an hour ago since prayer eeting ended, but in reality, it happened 2 days ago!! oh my... i cant believe it!! i am gonna wake up early everyday cos i wanna have longer days!!!

hmmm... these days, i love sleeping... i keep dreaming till when i wake up, i want to go back to sleep. ended up waking up at 10 when i was wide awak at 7.. haha... i love dreaming... some of the nicest, sweetest things happens there... things that'll probably nvr happen in this lifetime... little secrets buried in my heart.. only ur mind understands and brings u there when u are asleep...

back from dinner. was fun... but it passed soo fast.. actually, i wanted to go out round walking about orchard road... it reminded me of sooo many things each time i go there.. and i'd like to juz walk around... remembering everything... many things tt happened... not only ec la... many things =).... we went to play pool ya. so din get to walk. nvm... i really like looking about this days ar? i juz realise hahaha....

better stop.