25/03/06

ah.. yes. i wanted to blog something in the morning but i totally forgot about it hahaha..

ok, last night i dreamt that i went to east timor kinda by myself... ah... sooo nice "to be back there" haha... i dreamt that my dad was driving me from like one town to the other. erm.. i dunnoe how to explain. because what i dreamt did not follow tt of the east timor's map.

ok, so i reached the airport where i somehow, needed to get into the country. (trust me, when i'm awake i did not understand this part either but the procedures seemed familiar with me.)

so i was showing the officer there my passport and all, den i remember asking for a map/directory. ( i somehow knew how to use it.) i looked for the map on the town of dili. haha... (at this point of time, i was somehow alone. dunnoe where my dad went to.)

hmmm... cut things short. i woke up as i realised i couldn't drive! haha... i was thinking how i was gonna get to the hotel. (the one we stayed in the last time)

but it was nice though.. dreaming of tt place...

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lately i have been having many dreams and sleepless nights. i keep waking up in the middle of the night. prolly last night was due to my body aches from my match and i realised i had turn 180 degrees round my bed.

all my dreams were things i would love to dream of. things tt are in my heart but they often have something sad or bad in it. even in this timor dream. i remember i cried as i spoke to someone... i was telling the lady how i could not take the pressure living in Singapore, and how i loved timor, it's beauty, the slow paced lityfestyle...

i am starting to see everything i feel deep in my heart in which i do not potray in public (that much) in my dreams. the emotions felt so real. especially the time when i dreamed of one of my friends... how i really felt about stuff, i did not realised them until the dream...

now i am beginning to dread my dreams as it is bringing out the reality i choose not to live in. it is beginning to make me realise limits and impossibilities. it is beginning to make me realise heart aches and feelings i hide to the extent i do not feel it when i'm awake..

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ok, i did not go for edge today. am a lil lonely at home but no probs! haha.. i'm studying and feeling juz fine. juz finished one chapter, moving on to another. hope to clear chem by today! tmr gonna have intense physics.

okok, am off. enough rest. =)