22/07/07

i have regretted many things i've done. now, i see the effects of my silliness taking effect.

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everything's changing, so fast, too fast. i feel i can't catch up. i am living 2 yrs behind everyone else. i can't accept what ever's going on now, and wished tt things were the way they were 2 yrs ago. evryone's growing up, but like peter pan, i'm living in my own neverland and no matter how much wendy tries to convince me to go back, i don't want to.

how i wish i died and wake up realising it was all a bad dream and i'm only 5yrs old. i have only 1 life, and if it was lived badly, i'd die knowing my 1 and only life was a horrible one. but i do not know what to do, how to change it. i am lost.

bring me to a parallel universe where everything's the same except tt no one knows who i am...

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only 7 more hours before i have to fall in. the pressure's setting in again. the next 2 weeks are hell weeks and i can't wait to get over them. it kills me to just think about it. i'd rather just be in a war now and go through this once and for all, die or come back alive, does it even matter?