05/02/06

couldn't sleep last night after i reached home... i had soooo many things in mind. i juz couldn't keep it off...

i played wc3 to keep my mind of it, but that only lasted till my mom cut me of the internet...

den back to lying in bed and not being able to sleep. den i turned to God and asked him to put me to bed.

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woke up this morning, sad, disappointed and juz troubled with my problem... thought sleep would have helped me get rid of it, but guess not.

so went to church, sat down, service began, tried to worship. my heart wasn't there. it was with where my problem laid....

den an altar call was made for those who needed ministry who needed something. i knew i needed God.

i went there, still trying, talking to God... my heart was torn, i juz din noe wad to do...

den someone came, and prayed for me, laughing and joyful, he said to me. "the joy of the Lord is your strenght!", "the Lord is with u in ur problem, in ur time of need."

it was like he knew what i was going through. cos i kinda hesitated going out for the altar call cos it wasn't kinda suited for my need, or i thought so. but bro andrew did say, those who has NEEDS. i did.

den the love of God began to fill me, i felt warmth.. my face, my hands, my body... it was sooo erm loving. den he walked away, i stood there crying.

den another came to me, he told me exactly the same thing the first guy who prayed for me did. den he moved away.

finally, bro oen came. and i felt soooo much love from him... he stroked me on my back as if knowing how i felt. my heart juz broke, and i cried and cried. he told me, "do not dispair, the joy of the Lord will be ur strength. what ever u are going through, the Lord says, He's with you."

i thank the Lord.. and my heart ached soooo badly. i walked back to my seat, still crying, thanking the Lord. at the same time my heart still ached.

sermon began, and soon, the pain disappeared. and i remember bro andrew saying "when the Lord repeats it, He's speaking to you!" he was preaching about being loyal to God.

i think i know who prayed for me, i did not open my eyes, but i think it was bro john wong, den another john,(the one who's always having prophecies) den bro oen..

neways, i left church feeling good! hahahaha...

reached home, sleep, and woke up feeling all GOOD! haha... the joy of the Lord is my strength!! hahahaha...

alright! i feel like i'll begin the next week all different! i dunnoe. i juz dun feel sad and all... i dun worry or think. hahahha...

-you woke me up

when u broke my heart.... =)