29/11/06

i am sick and i'm feeling super uncomfortable now...

pray for me...

-

last night was one of the longest most painful nights i ever had. as if i was punished for something i did wrong.

i couldn't get a single wink of sleep for 5 hours cos of the body aches.

sleepless night, dreamless night.
my body ached so bad it felt as if i was running a 100km race and i've ran only 50km.
my lower back hurt so much, no matter how i twist and turn, it still ached.

what's worse is the thing we do so easily, PEEING! hahaha.. it's the most painful thing for me! and i have to drink lots of water which means toilet every 30 mins!!!! i controlled till i cannot cos to pee, it's soooo stinking pain! hahaha...

oh well.. thank God i'm feeling much better. though the headache is killing me slowly, since last night.. i hate this... get it almost once a yr, last yr, i had 2 weeks mc hahaha.. BUT I HAVE NO SCHOOL NOW!!! argh!

and i can barely hear, cos of my throat and all, causes my ear to be a lil deaf and plugged...

oh well, pray for me!

28/11/06

so since that day i pondered over the significance over having a ........ ..... .

and it occured to me again today. i dun get it! i dun get what's there to get so serious about it!?

as if i had much of it?

who would even bother!? aint ur loved ones who care more than enough? like mine ever did much. so what's with all these?

i dun get it, so what if it makes pple happy? for a moment? why not all year long, all ur life? and not just 0.3% of ur total life.

oh well, i just cant help but think about it. i'll definitely make those i love happy. for sure.

27/11/06

today's a really special day.
wouldn't you agree, my friend?

25/11/06

wow!
finally! we did it!!! so much practice, so many things to rehearse and memorise! it's finally DONE! and i pray that the will of God was accomplished!

i feel sooo good, made new friends, had lots of fun, but still, i love the making friends part. hahaha!!! we were soooo busy, i just loved my day, getting stuck in the rain, seeing pple i've not seen for a long time, performing, shouting, screaming, everything! friends who are just friends, now we're a lil closer.

ah... i love such productions, i guess i dun mind getting involved. though it's really not me to do such things, and i'll get bored halfway haha!

oh yes! and the drama took a huge turn today!!! it went from perfect to WONDERFUL! it's definitely God. we acted our hearts out, though i cant see, i could hear, and it was... WOW!

praise God!

images in my mind

your beauty,
as pure as the sand on the shore.
you are,
as vast as the ocean; as much as sand.

just like that,
it's beyond the grasp of my palm.
everything slips through,
and there goes you.

what's left are the little bits of sand on my hand
or the salt of the sea water between my fingers.
the rest of it,
they've returned to where they belong.

-

and then there i was,
standing on the sand, looking out into the ocean.
i think of the place where i spent my youth.
somewhere so far, a place where my spirit finds rest.

there, i dream of it every night.
wondering which star it might be on.
the universe so vast,
the stars - countless...

23/11/06

ha... have been sooo stinking busy these past few days. hahaha!

am preparing for the dance and drama this saturday, so all u pple reading, COME OK! COS I AM DOING IT FOR ALL OF U! =D hahahahahaha!!!

neways, yesterday was fun!!! finally get to go down to east coast, sadly, not much sun and a lot of rain hahaha... we were suppose to go see lay kuen boyfriend marching along east coast, which meant tt joel was there too, but i did not go hahaha... man! like some bunch of pple stalking the soldiers! hahaha!!

so kai, kai ling and kannan went cycling.

we went to the jetty where i showed kai my "survival skills" haha.. i just felt tt they weren't convinced by me that it's easy to catch fish. and i can just stare at the fishes in the sea all day and not get bored. so i was worried they were getting bored.

walked around nd found a set of unused hook with a weight. dug deeeeeep into the dustbin to get out some line, tied them together and WAH LAH! i can start fishing!!! haha..

we caught 4 fishes!!!! little ones though.. hahahaha!!! i mean, all i had were little hooks ya! =)

but i want to go there, spend my days there... too bad money is sucha problem. so i'm gonna go work!~ SOON! hahaha..

down at sentosa. i think it'll be more relaxed there than going back to that hotel. HA!

well.. just an update, OFF!

17/11/06

it's all over but it feels as if it has never begin. =)
(help e edit my grammar. i've thought about it over and over and cant seem to get it right. haha...)

fact: i'm never free in this life, and everything continues as usual.

oh well! i just have a whole new bunch of troubles!!! hahahaha!!! will i never be free?

-

watching princess hours just makes u feel all lovey dovey. HA! silly ya!

"i'm the suspect of an arson, but i feel as if nothing happened."
why? because he's found true love!

hahaha... aint it just soo nice. it's just sooooo difficult to describe love and heart aches. and it feels sooo wonderful and carefree when u're in love. haha...

maybe i was once free.
but well... it brought on a whole lot of problems too!! hahahaha man!

neways, i have not been thinking about such stuff for quite sometime. hahaha... it's nice to think about it. but it's nicer not to think about it. hahaha! uneccessary worries.

yea... i hope i do have time to go do some exploring. so lay kuen and kai ling have volunteered to accompany me for my next exploration. but to where.... maybe north east area. hahaha..

LETS FIND THE SEA!

k... i guess, i'm gonna do lots of clearing in my room! i hope i get to dig out some sentimental stuff! hahaha... things that gives me that feeling of nostalgia. look for old toys!!!!

16/11/06

today's jialin's birthday, so i dunnoe if she comes here, but anyone who knows her and is reading this, help me wish her a....

really really really REALLY REALLY REALLLLLLLYYYYYY, BIG BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

yea. well... i was walking round plaza yesterday after lunch, when i came across POD's latest cd ( i think) back from 2003. hahaha... i looked at it, and without thinking twice, i sooo wanted to get it on the spot! it's $18.90 and i really really wanna get it but, though i'm not poor, i'm really tight on my finances now... considering all the "debts" i would have to clear i've got to clear.

man... i really thought i could have a month or 2 off, go have some fun, but i guess not! i need to find a job!!!! SOON!

no! i need a miracle!!!!

yea... i need a huge miracle. i need to find some way to survive through this holidays. =)

13/11/06

i've not been feeling too well the past few days. especially at night, i barely get any sleep from all my coughing.

last night, i just had enough of it and.....
TT'S WHEN MY FIRST MIRACLE ARRIVED =D

i woke up coughing, and so i shouted and asked God to heal me. den i went back to bed.

30 mins later i woke up to drink water cos of the multiple sores i'm getting on my tongue. dunnoe if it's from my throat infection. i was planning to see the doctor in the morning. but i found out,

MY THROAT WAS NO MORE UNCOMFORTABLE!
PRAISE THE LORD!

just a mild itch which was bearable and nothing compared to the uncomfortableness i had the whole night.

yea, so i was stinking happy cos i stopped coughing the whole night, and got a good night's rest. yea... =)

PRAISE GOD!

12/11/06

I NEED A MIRACLE MAN!!! hahaha...

these few months, i'm looking for miracles after miracles, GOD GRANT ME MIRACLES!

04/10/06

check it out!

HA! i feel real good!

just as i stepped into yishun building, i feel a gush of joy! man, it's simply sooo good to be in God's presence. i can't wait for next saturday!!!

man, i feel soooo alive, so happy, i'm happy to see everyone too. yea...

-

A's.... ha... i'm seriously bored of it, give me something else to study and i prolly will. going through the same thing so many times yet it takes so much more to remember them. ha, it's easier to forget them. heh!

sometimes i think maybe cos i give up too easily, but why did i not feel this way during O's? ha... the difference, i do not need to practice a single thing for O's hahahahaha! i just sat in bed and read, memorise.

ah... i'll still do what i can for now, but after this, be sure that i'd just move on, and forget that i've ever taken the A's. oh well...

lack motivation.

01/10/06

well... mixed feelings.

if i only knew how to communicate, i take more time trying to know u more. life's just draining time away from things i want to do, things i should try giving a shot at.

wait till it's all over. i'd have all the time 5 months can give. i still need to study though, but i believe i'd be more free than i am now.

spending time at home is a waste of time, my memory on what i've studied are slowly fading away with each passing day. i wish i could take the exams now. i'm mentally ready, though unprepared for it.

if i could only spend more time out, or doing more of the things i want to do. (besides studying) but this would displease my mom, and thus, i'm stuck. yea... stuck, such an uncomfortable feeling. for once, u wished u had no family.

oh well... i do not regret anything, but i hope to make up for all of it, somehow.