i was once obsessed with this

28/01/07

well... am like really happy and high on my way home la!

i walked all the way home from cck!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

evening service was a really cheerful and joyful one ya! =)

well... i am feeling a lil different from before now ha.. wierd.. my emotons change so fast.

work tmr. thank god it's not in the morning.

k la. devotions, sleep. i need some time out from all this craziness hahaha... i'm a lunatic! hahahaha!!

i'm happy cos of you

what did i did?

if you trust me and believe i am true,
then i can be trusted and true to every word i say.

if you are serious,
then i would take things seriously.

however someone like me, no matter how pure my sentiments are, it may never seem this way anymore.

i forget that i am growing up. no, a grown up. my every action no matter how much "for fun" it is, to others it means something. it's different when a child does something, and when someone my age do something. a child's innocent, yet a person like me understands. but i do not think tt far...

i am afraid, i am sad.

i do not care about protecting myself but to make sure others around me are accepted. in doing so, do i end up having the same fate as them? did i not accomplish what i wanted to do and instead end up just like them?

to be condemned to accept the condemned.

well.. i have been doing that seen sec school. is that why my life was always like that?

but,
i found friends i trusted,
pple who cared about me.

i wonder what happened in MI. things were so much different yet i could still do what i did - making friends with pple others deemed wierd.

aiya, so many thing's running through my head.

why.

26/01/07

working at sentosa have been real wonderful. i love walking round the musical fountain selling the light badges and at the same time meet new pple and stuff..

one of the sweetest thing i see around, are families which seem so perfect. haha... seem perfect... well, i dunnoe what goes on in their lives but the seem just so wonderful, so happy and i wish i was just like tt.

hahaha... still young but i dream of the future sooo many times haha... seeing those pple. i wish i'd be able to have a family like theirs...

my family... ha... i wished my mom never came back from taiwan, it'd be sooo peaceful and i wont need to be hurt so often. not tt i hate her, i just dun want to be around her when she dunnoe what she's talking about.

life's been like this for me since young, used to it but wished there weren't all these...

the grass's greener on the other side. =)

24/01/07

man.. time flies by real fast...

now that i have 4 hrs of travel time every time i go to work, i'm starting to think about all those good times, look out the window and smile to myself.

well... i miss every moment of it. i think about how it all began - from a smile.

hahaha... i still remember it so clearly like it happened last yr. however, it has been almost over 4 years! ha...

nothing much's changed...

-

i really wanna blog about these few days which had been real good but i am just tired and lazy. have been working almost full day shifts...

tmr, 9.30!

22/01/07

just some stuff..

reader's digest is my good friend.
i've just realised that i am appreciating what i have more than dwelling in what i do not have.
am too tired to blog about the fun i had after work.
sentosa, is just wondeful.

night.

God have been generous with His blessings.

all i need, i have.

17/01/07

just this 7 words and i had such a wonderful day.
"Lord, make this day a great day."

today was soooo nice. it was great! i woke up feeling like i was dying so i said those 7 words, and the rest of the day was filled with so much fun and laughter while others, were dying ha! of course i cheered them up! =D

well... so many things went well, and i felt so good. and i pray that today will be the start in which i'd be able to start something i wanted to do.

neways, now tt my mom's in taiwan, i've got to do a lot more chores and stuff.. read up on an article regarding housework, and guess what, housework brings about depression. so unless ur mom loves doing it, pls help her out with some chores.

scientifically proven that sharing the load would help. i wonder how my maid does it.

yea... i feel good and look forward to tmr. i wonder how great tmr's gonna be. just 7 words.

14/01/07

can a man ever change his stars?

well, let's see what my first step would be...

11/01/07

hahaha!! played rugby LIKE SHIT LA! hahaha... i felt so confused. oh well, after a while i got used to it, and i had quite a lot of fun. i dunnoe how to thank the JJ boys so much.

steamboat! i feel like a pig now, i ate like MAD! i was prolly the last to be done la. i just had to make my money worth HA! i was also stinking hungry, cos i leave house these days without breakfast and lunch. man.... no time to eat la...

sian sian sian. thank God for giving me strength. i miss school! i feel so good being in JJC yet at the same time, i do feel a lil foreign. i am gonna miss being in JJC after friday, SERIOUSLY! the friends i've made, familiar faces i see everyday. man.. MISS IT ALL!

oh well... no such things as school for me. did not occured to me that i'll never be in uniform and studying in a classroom, with a break time where i can run about and play, run into other classes and mix around yada yada....

k, TIRED!

09/01/07

have been real tired for the past few days man. doing 2 jobs for now, need money to pay for ........ hahahahaha!!! by faith, helping my uncle will bring in enough cash. God bless my uncle with business so i may get blessed as well!

hahaha... so i have been at jjc, see hei wai hahaha... tmr!!! cca open house! they said i could join them for rugby 7s! I CANT WAIT! i hope i'd get to play!!! cos i have not played in a really REALLY long time.

and to make things more nervous, it's a SEVENS game! *shivers*

i hope i do get to play. somehow i doubt i'd play but yet i believe i'd get a chance to hahaha..

oh well! i feel like part of school again!!! being in JJC has made me have that feeling of nostalgia.. i missed school, being around my teachers etc.. i wish i could be in school forever, yet not take any exams nor have any hw! WOOOHOOO!!!

being around JJC's teachers gave me that sense of warmth, wierd huh! haha, but i hope more teachers come and talk to us and make orders!!!!

yea!!! rugby tmr!!!

05/01/07

my finger got stuck between the lift door and my skin tore,
reading an article of a shipwreck in which a man's leg got sliced through the shin and left hanging on a tendon, suffers from gangrene and eventually loses his leg.
me slamming the door breaking my sis's thumb which was at the hedge.
.
.
.
.
then a chain of thoughts of what ifs.
what if, i slammed the door when i'm mad, and somehow, someone's finger was at the door.
what if, i closed the car door with full force and break someone's finger.
what if, one day i break a bone.

what if.......

this have been driving me crazy lately.

chains of thoughts. neverending. what if......

03/01/07

today was really good. =)

an overview:
signed up for basic theory,
rugby training,
shopping (on my own)
home.

so i'm glad that i've finally signed up for basic theory and can't wait to get it over a go on with my advanced theory haha... however, registraion, took FOREVER!!! i wanted to go to school early for lunch and to look around, end up, i only could look around when anders came. we kinda ran away from training a bit haha...

training felt good. i was surprised that i could run 4 rounds the new school track! whooo!! SHIFT TOPIC! school's really beautiful, BIG and superb! too bad we can't use that beautiful field in which we're soooo gonna tear it apart! wuahahahahaha!!!

ok, we had to run 12 rounds though! hahaha... like man! i walked like 1/3 of it hahaha.. my thighs ached right after it which made me realise how weak i am now.

lalala... training made me feel good, however, sleepy now.

wanted to ask someone out, anyone cos i did not want to go home. heh! i thought i could have dinner with anders but well, he needs to go home for his own dinner ar! asked some others but man... so i went shopping at west mall. alone!

it feels great shopping alone, like a grown up, independent and all wuahaha. got some chocs for a friend and my sis, den got myself poppycock! it sounds sick but whatever's in it, is supendelicious! hahahaha... it's clusters of almonds,pecans and popcorn covered in honey/caramel glaze. MMMMmmmMMMM!

looked for shoes for work and some clothings but bought none hahahaha...

well.. i'm gonna turn 20 soon, ha.. with the number 2 in front of my age. oooo... but it feels no different. i feel 18. and thus, i cant believe i am 20 cos i dun act tt age, and i don't want to and i can easily pass myself off as 16 if i lied hahahaha...

in like 5-8 years, i'll be married!? WOW! like shocking.but if i'm 40 and still not married i'll just say i'm 30 wuahahahahaha!!! like who will know! HA!

k la. am stinking tired!

03/01/07

well...
if there comes a day the world turns their back on you,
if u feel all alone and need a friend,
if u just need someone to listen to u,
if u just want some company,
if u need help in anything,

just look me up.
i'd be of service in anyway =)

i'll still be ur friend, the best i can.

this is to no one in specific. just wanted to let all of my friends out there know that no matter what, nothing can change my friendship with any of u. yep!

02/01/06

well, the end of the holidays for most of u. a new year, but somehow it feels like nothing's changed.

nothing much tt i'd look forward to. just to go on, and hope for the best... maybe i do have something i am looking forward to, like my module results, den army - i cant wait till i finish bmt.

for now. it's just work and home. i dunnoe who i can go out and play with. though i really wish i could just call some of u and go partae! but, it's wierd since we dun see each other much these days. even kai and vijey's working, kannan, prolly will see him soon.

maybe after rugby tmr, i'd get to hang out with some of u. all the ruggers.

well... it's not tt i feel alone, but i feel like i dun wanna get involve with the world, while deep inside, i just want to be around pple.

all day while working, i enjoy being around pple, but they come and go. i talk to some of the guest for a moment and i'd prolly not see em again.. haha... man.. tt's sad.

i begin wondering what it must be like to live in that family; their culture, food, gatherings etc. why are they so stinking rich!? and the children and parent seem so friendly. the child obviously pampered yet not arrogant nor snobish. ha...

if i inheritted a lot of money, i'll just leave every thing and everyone and travel. tt's all.

i'm just a nano dot on the surface of this whole earth who wants to see God's creation, understand and get involve in a region's culture, make new aquaintances, live with the poor, bless them, do something big to change their lives, move on and repeat.

tt's all i ask for if i am rich. and of course, do it at my own time... den have some time learning to surf, drive a boat, dive, understand nature and use it to my advantage, whatever outdoor stuff la.

oh well.. these are the things i have been thinking about if anyone at work has caught me stoning. HA!

01/01/07

well.. nothing in this damn world is going right, right now.

who cares