31/10/06

mmmm.. end of october. it's gonna be all over soon =)

so many thing's gonna change.

30/10/06

ha.. i guess it's really true, not everything in a sermon to a congregation would sound nice.

as i was doing my devotions a moment ago. i came across the whole passage of luke 6 : 17-42 and it serves as a reminder to me and to many others.

it's not pleasing when pple mistake u, misinterpret u or judge u. and i've been thinking of such things for quite sometime. it used to affect me a lot cos it's just the world to over judge even the purest of sentiments. (i'm not exactly talking about pple judging me la. ha...)

and i cant really tolerate it though i keep quite about it most of the time. there are just many ways of looking at a picture, be it good or bad.

but i don't dare say anything about others cos i might just be the one haha!

oh well.. i've just been thinking alot about such stuff and things such as these keep appearing in front of me. many things i'm going through for God aren't nice, and i just pray that God would help me.

30/10/06

GOD IS SIMPLY AMAZING!!!!

well, yesterday before evening service, i sat down and begin talking to God. just over some things tt has made me sad, or hurt me.

i was just asking God, "what did i do wrong?" i just wondered why, why pple close to me would dislike me, come against me, hurt me. pple i trust, betray me, make fun of me, say such horrible things about me. some, just did not want to be assoicated to me one way or another.

for a very happy go lucky kind of person, all these do not really affect me, cos they're just the minority. though there was once i tot it was impossible for pple to hate me. hahahaha... but yea, pple began telling me to watch out, to be careful.

and so, i wondered why.

as the sermon began, IT SHOCKED ME!

the whole sermon was totally geared to answer EVERY QUESTION I ASKED GOD BEFORE THE SERVICE! i mean, i never expect to be answered immediately.

somehow, i knew, that was the word i was looking for.

personally, i am not guilt free from talking behind pple's back. i do. but i always remind myself not to go too far. many times, i just controlled myself so tt i will not say anything to plot against any one. i mean, it's a common self defense mechanism to say something bad about someone else who's saying bad things about u. BUT! u'd become just like that person u hate. and tt stopped me countless times from revealing to other pple besides that person about how i feel about him/her.

God's just wonderful. some things revealed to my spirit are just allowed to be expressed at the right time. there are still other things good/bad, waiting to come out, if only i find the right moment for the right person.

but God is just great. i am thankful. cos he answered me. definitely things do not hurt me so easily especially when it comes from the worldly pple, but it hurts when it's from pple in church. and most painful when they're from church and close to you.

i'm definitely not talking about trival stuff pple gossip about but, things much more hurting, more painful. some what like accusations, being misunderstood. till the time i came back to singapore, there were still things i pondered about. i did not understand what they meant. also other times, from others around.

but one thing's for sure, i've not held anything against them. it's just things i guess i need to think about and it does not affect how i look at them before or after whatever's happened.

but yea... sometimes it's maybe just me, what i did, and how i should change...
tt's why i asked God, "what did i do wrong...."

28/10/06

haha... ok, i'll study ya! =)
it's not tt i'm giving up totally. i'm just bored of this "endless" routine. it's just boring me. i know there are much more to learn, but i'm bored of regoing through them to memorise them.

firstly, it's like, it's not tt i do not know, but it's a lot of details to remember, calculations to do. most of it, i've done it before, i know how to do, but due to lack of practice (which i hate) i stop doing it.

yea... secondly, most of it, i'll prolly not use in the future... kinda feel redundant. besides, i'll most prolly NEVER go into science or engineering courses because of maths... haha...

but yea, i'll do what i can ya, so like thx for the encouragement. =)

-

i tot today would be a nice day, i prayed for one. but it did not go too well, however, it wasn't a totally spoilt day either! hahaha, in fact, I LOVED THE NIGHT!

i tot we'd be able to have a family outingat east coast today, but my dad did not want to come, my mom, she prolly has housework to do and is just tired... not tt i did not try to find ways to grow close to them. but rather, it seems, they just have better things to do.

ANYWAY! i'm super touched by some of the testimonies at baptim @ east coast today.

I MEAN IT'S TRUE! KNOWING CHRIST IS TRUELY JOYFUL! man! i praise God for all of u. it's a new begginning for many and i'm happy for them, angels in heaven are rejoicing!!! =D

tot i'd get to play some touch rug there, but guess not.. we had such little time at east coast, worse of all, i had my finger injured due to a mis-catch. it's begginning to swell and bruise at the join... hurts man...

and at night, we had a WONDERFUL SERVICE AT EDGE TODAY! though it was a lil extended, but it was really funny, meaningful and just something that speaks to this generation. yep! =) God is just wonderful!

and also, i get to talk to desmond after so long. realised i've changed quite a bit, i dun have those usual stuff in which i'd ramble about. haha.. instead i felt a little stumped on what to talk about. oh well. i guess i have to thank God for providing me peace these days, therefore, lesser worries, lesser troubles, NOTHING TO RAMBLE ABOUT! =DDD

-

finally, i've been praying about things regarding my dad, just talking to God. i mean, what if my dad joins God early. yes, i'm worried for the family.

ok, i shant go into detail. but anyway, God sent uncle mike to answer all my questions.

HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT WHAT I TOLD GOD.

but he began talking to me about he and his son, about being the first born, (his son, indirectly me) about what the bible states about the first born, the responsibilities his son has to take on, (or rather i have to take on) if he dies early or in other words, if my dad dies early.

and so, i thank God. cos i really needed answers.

i'm not cursing my dad or anything, but it's just possible tt he's hiding things from us. yea... it's just being the man you know, it's common. men do not really share much.

well, goodnight!

26/10/06

i've lost interest,
yes, i've lost interest in my studies already.

so bring it on! i'm tired of the long wait to A's!

-

btw, beautiful weather today... =)

24/10/06

If you treasure the beauty
that shows all around you
and try to add some of your own,
Enjoy the companionship
others can give you,
yet value your moments alone…

If you honor opinions
that differ from yours,
yet stand up for what you believe,
Admire the accomplishments
others have made,
and take pride in what you can achieve…

If you love those around you
and love yourself, too,
if your spirit is eager and free…
Then you know what it means
to live life to the fullest
and be the best "you" you can be.

23/10/06

something's wrong.

i'm feeling hungry everytime, just before mealtimes, and once meal time arrived, i feel like puking at the sight/smell/taste of food.

though this uncomfortableness, i just try eating -- a little. and i'd feel soooooo full and bloated just taking a little. dunnoe what's wrong with me. since my maid's left, and since the study break began, i've been feeling this way...

man... i wish everything's back to normal.

study.

22/10/06

ok, yesterday had been a super cool day, so was today!

we played treasure hunting around the esplanade and my group won $30!!! wooo!! ice cream!!! got to make many new friends from the other region. i cant upload the pics yet... till i get back my lap top. but aint much la.. haha...

hmmm... God's good. real good. i've learned so much throughout this week, and i'm just soo blessed.

ha... i think i'm the happiest boy ever! am like super hyper all the way till just now... am sleepy already, and i guess, i plan to go to school and study the whole of next week.

i'm hoping to go fishing one of these days with brother anderson. nice guy, which reminded me of brother john and his testimony... it just touched me sooo much. how wonderful is God's redemption. WONDERFUL! a total changed man... and he's not the only one...

well... i'm sleepy, so i guess no games, and sleep!!!

19/10/06

haha.. have been on youtube checking out some of the latest maple videos. and for all u maple addicts, check this out!



also, check this guy's video! i've become one of his fans! he have some of the coolest maple videos!!!

they're all in little stories which are just sooo stinking cool, funny and just enjoyable to watch!



i'll post more videos from undiepatrol. they rock!

16/10/06

God has been really wonderful these days. to me, to the people around.
praise the Lord.

anyway, i'm not feeling the least stressed haha! and i'm feeling rather happy all the time. to add to the laughter, i've been going down to mrbrownshow.com and man! it's stinking funny! (and rather sick for some!) hahahaha!!!

and i've found the video of the guy acting out "torn" which is soo stinking funny, and joy kept mimicking him yesterday! haha...



man oh man oh man! he's soooo cool!!!!

hahaha!

13/10/06

ALRIGHT! last day of school!!!

which also means.... MAN! no more hanging out, no more laughter, friends to chat with. ha....ok, it's not meant in a depressing way.

but i need laughter man!!! and i regret not writing the letter to that group of friends of mine, or rather, used to be friends. haha... but their still my friends if i ever see them outside.

-

go light a candle now! and stop child sex abuse!!!

http://lightamillioncandles.com

-

ok, deleted quite a bit of stuff, cos they were fillers hahaha...

neways, the new disney original movie, WENDY WU! hahaha
wooohooo!!!

guess what! starring BRENDA SONG!!! WOOHOO xTWOOOO HOOO!!!

haha!

10/10/06 - 2

reading readers digest, i came across some things i thought i'd share. haha..

sick building syndrome - the cluster of non-specific symptoms including headaches, nasal congestion, eye irritation and fatigue associated with work places - may in fact be a misnomer.

in a study, UK researchers found job-related stress, perceptions of a lack of support and poor workplace relationships were more closely related to sick-building symptoms than the physical properties of the workplace itself such as temperature, airborne fungi or noise level.

-

Diabetes or just normal thirst?
do you feel thirsty or tired all the time? if so, you could have diabetes without knowing it.

symptoms:
increased fatigue and thirst
frequent urinating
weight loss
blurred vision
genital itching
cuts taking longer to heal.

haha... so as for me, i'm having headaches these days, nasal congestion occassionally, fatigue. thirst, and yesterday, samantha would know how often i went to the toilet. hahaha...

soooo... WHAT'S THIS I'M FEELING!? TELL ME RD!

haha.... i just feel sick. maybe i've got both.

first, last night joce would know about my group of friends who have stopped talking to me after the last term break. it's sad. going to school, has much less meaning now, besides, i have no one to play with; everyone's absent.

school seems soooo demoralising or so, how i felt yesterday haha... so i skipped school today. prolly tmr too. HA!

no one to hang with like last time, i dunnoe who to turn to when i need to rant. hahaha... prolly God huh! =)

well, i keep falling asleep in front of my book, but i did quite a bit of work today. and i'm gonna continue. haha...

10/10/06

BLOODY HORNY CHINESE BUSINESS MAN! (from indonesia)
pardon my language.
shame on you!

this entry is once again dedicated to my maid.

i am just trying to find a way if possible to get her on readers digest under the everyday hero section or better, a story on her.

SHE'S A SUPERWOMEN!

ok, her daughter was doped an this bloody business man nearly did something real bad to her.

AND HE'S MOST PROBBLY NOT FREAKING GOING TO JAIL COS HE'S RICH!

wth!

he better start thanking God that my maid's merciful. cos they wanted to kill him.
I WOULD'VE BEATEN THE NUTS OUT OF HIM!

it's just that feeling of what if it was ur girlfriend. well, it need not even have to be my girlfriend, a friend, and be sure i'd knock him silly!

MAN! the atrocity! horny old man!

well, my maid is just a wonderfull person,
READ IT CLEARLY!

TOTALLY BLESSED BY GOD!

God's hands of blessing is simlply just on her everywhere she goes!!! she's so humble, honest, nice... i could go on!

and THANK GOD FOR ANSWERING OUR PRAYER!

her daughter was protected and the horny businessman did not get to do anything cos it was just that time of the month!

HALLELUJAH!

what's worst, she nearly died of an overdose of drugs, according to the doctors at the hospital. THANK GOD!

man, if i know who's that man, i'd shame him to the very core he'd just commit suicide.

ok, i need to simmer down. i'm talking rubbish.

anyway, also, before my maid left, quite a number of people in church blessed her, and it totaled to quite an amount, almost half a month's pay. =) thank you all!

truly the Lord's watching over her family. i glorify God for what he has done for her. it makes me glad.

she's like my second mom. hahaha... =)

THANK YOU JESUS!

09/10/06

do not hate me or look down on me if ever i do not do well...

i hate what i'm doing.

08/10/06

i wanted to go for evening service but sleep got the better of me. ha...

oh well, my sis woke me up at 7.15pm i slept for 3 hrs! man!

had the wildest dream. haha...

somehow, ever since the haze became bad, and i began having headaches, i've stopped studying. simply lost the motivation, the mood. i hope tomorrow will spark a new desire to study. i need to start.

ok, i'm really glad at the work that God's doing in everyone.

as for me, i've manage to break free from many things. one of them, relying on my blog to overcome my boredom and loneliness.

i am just glad that blog is no longer so much part of my lifestyle, that whenever i feel lonely i'd turn to blogging. now i have God and also my friends around me. whenever i miss em, i pray for em. whenever i think of them, i pray God bless them and take good care of them so tt i'll see them soon.

friends are soooo important to me and i thank God for ALL of you. i miss many whom i've lost contact with. it's sad.

ok, i'm just glad with the pple i have around me now. those in school and in church.

see you all around.

03/10/09

where trouble melts like lemon drops,
high above the chimney tops,
that's where...
you'll find me.

somewhere over the rainbow...

-

recieving mail's like recieving a present. u shake it, and u hear sounds and wonder what it is. it's just so fun as u rush to open it up to see what's in it. ha. =D

so i had mail yesterday! and i've got really yummy candy!



don't the little things just make ur day hahaha..

thanks miss chow! =D

-

neways, today, in some way was really great. it went slow and nice, got to step out of the house and go play. been a while since i went out to play. (i think) it just felt great.

of course not forgetting studying! i prolly went out for only 3 hrs or so, but out of this 3 hours 45mins was spent studying. hahaha... and the rest of the day, finishing chem paper 2 and doing some other revision.

i'm sooo glad i'm not hooked to the comp any longer, BUT! i'm slowly getting addicted to final fantasy tactics on gameboy advanced hahaha! ah wei would share the same sentiments. how he could not study until playing it for an hour or so before feeling satisfied. hahahaha!

oh well, it's about bed time. thinking of many of you. shall study a lil more or prolly devotions den bed. so, see everyone of u tmr!

02/10/09

deep inside my head, a constant chant goes on and on
"give up, give up, give up, give up........"

and with all my might i shouted back in my head
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

i'm not giving up, even though i know the outcome, because i am not satisfied with what i've become!

i'm not like that in the past, but this other side of me, it's too much!
I LOVE IT, YET I HATE IT!

ha... everyone wonders how can i always remain this carefree and cheerful while i seriously wonder, why i enjoy being in such a state of denial with such unrealistic dreams.

yet,
"do not let others tell you your dreams are too big for for you."

and also, a friend once said, and it encouraged me so much, i kept it so close to my heart.

"thanks for helping me reconnect, gabriel.
i've never met any other one like you, who didnt get sucked into this metropolitan whirlpool
and get whisked away to meet self-imposed society expectations.
your stories painted me a picture i thought only existed in Utopia,
only to find out that they are real, not so far away and attainable none the least.
i admire people like you who dare to go against the currents and walk the lesser known path.
i admire your outlook on life, so true to yourself and so pure of heart.
dont let anyone say your aspirations are unrealistic, ever. "

am i really leading my life wrongly? am i really doing the wrong things at the wrong time?

but when is the right time? is there even time for other things? wake up, study, work, sleep, grow old, die.

i'm confused.

but no matter! i'll try try try!!! i've told God soo many times i do not want to disappoint my parents. so i'll try. and if i really do disappoint them, i've got 1 last chance to make it up and tt's with my diploma. =)

01/10/09

as we walked slowly along the sides, i told myself
"i'd catch you if you fall."

-

Who Am I

by Casting Crowns
album: Casting Crowns (2003)

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

what a beautiful love song.

the more i listen to it, the more i fall in love with You.